


Holding the Line

by shadeshifter



Series: Writers Block [4]
Category: NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Numb3rs (TV)
Genre: Charlie is a good brother, Charlie is its president, Competent Tony DiNozzo, Domestic Violence, F/M, Kensi is its chairperson, Kensi is the best bro, M/M, Nell is a good probie, Nell is its treasurer, Past Domestic Violence, Tony has a fanclub
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-05-13 10:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadeshifter/pseuds/shadeshifter
Summary: Things are going pretty well for Tony; he's got a job he enjoys, a team he trusts, and a boyfriend who understands him. Then a case brings up a past Tony was only too happy to forget about while Don struggles with the secret nature of their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been struggling to write for the last year and a half. I haven't been in a good headspace at all, so I'm posting what I have in the hopes that it sparks something. Comments requesting that I 'post more please' will be ignored.

“I should have this weekend off,” Tony said, curled up on one end of the couch while Don sat on the other. The remains of dinner lay across the coffee table and Tony stretched out, nudging Don’s thigh.

“Yeah?” Don glanced across at him, corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Me too.”

This was what Tony liked the most; quiet nights in with an old movie on in the background while they ate dinner. Most of the time Tony would help Don clean up and then follow him to bed. He barely saw his own place these days, which might once have sent him into a tailspin, but instead he just felt content, happy even, and that was a novel experience.

“You having dinner at your Dad’s?” Tony asked.

“Saturday, but other than that I’m all yours,” Don added, smirking as he looked up at Tony again.

The invitation didn’t extend to Tony, couldn’t when Alan still didn’t know about them, about him, but Tony knew there were good reasons behind Don’s reticence. It was easy enough to pick up on the tension between Don and Charlie, and even though he’d never really met the man it wasn’t difficult to tell that Don’s relationship with his father hadn’t always been as strong as it was now. That Don was worried about how things would change when he did finally reveal everything.

Tony shared some of Don’s reasons, like the fact they worked in law enforcement. It wasn’t always clear or obvious who would react badly to finding out about them and Tony had seen too many examples over his years in law enforcement to want to take that step without due consideration. Just because Callen and Sam had been, if not openly supportive, then at least indifferent, didn’t mean anyone else would be. Kensi on the other hand, he’d never had support like Kensi before, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it.

There was also Tony’s cover to consider. Donati had become a permanent, if occasional, cover. He’d stepped into the space Spearing had left and slowly dismantled his network. It had been the work of months, but now he only had to pull out the identity for maintenance. In the time he’d been at NCIS, Donati had only been the start of his covers. A public relationship with an FBI agent wasn’t good for either of them.

“And there’s a game Sunday,” Don added.

“Football, basketball or baseball?” Tony asked, scooting down against the arm of the couch and resting his feet in Don’s lap.

“Baseball.”

Tony moaned unhappily, dropping his head back and wiggling his toes until Don took up massaging his feet. He was mostly teasing since Don’s passion for the game was contagious, even if Tony had little interest in it himself. But he wasn’t above taking advantage of Don’s eagerness to teach him.

“I’m sure I can convince you of the merits of the game,” Don continued, hand sliding up Tony’s ankle.

Tony raised his head again, watching Don’s fingers rub slow circles while Don smirked.

“I’m open to persuasion,” he said and Don shifted Tony’s feet off his lap and moved to lean over him. A knee slid between his legs as fingers slid along his waist and up under his shirt.

“That so?” Don asked, thigh moving against his crotch until Tony breathed in sharply, a sharp shock of pleasure shooting up his spine.

“I can be very stubborn,” Tony said, fingers scratching through the short hair at the nape of Don’s neck.

“Something we have in common.”

Tony shifted, pulling Don closer to him, increasing pressure and friction.

“Maybe I’ll be the one to persuade you,” Tony said, hooking a leg around Don’s waist and nosed at the corner of his jaw before grazing his teeth over his pulse point. Don groaned, dropping his forehead to Tony’s shoulder.

Yeah, Tony thought as Don pulled his shirt over his head and moved to unbutton Tony's, he could really get used to this.

...

Tony didn’t even realise he was humming to himself as he walked into work until Kensi raised an eyebrow at him.

“Might want to cut back on your happy glow, DiNozzo,” she said with a grin. “Don’t want to give the bad guys a beacon to aim for.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he denied with a sniff, though his faux-aloofness was ruined by a wide smile. A glance around showed him Deeks wasn’t in yet, but it was taking time for him to settle back in and there was always another requalification he had to take to get back into the field.

“Ugh,” Callen said as he dropped into his seat next to Kensi. “I already know more about this conversation than I want to.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Damn right he is,” Sam said, coming up behind him. “He wouldn’t know what to do with a committed relationship anyway.”

“Maybe I’m just waiting for the right person,” Callen objected.

“You’ve got to be the right person before you can meet the right person,” Sam said sagely as he dropped his backpack next to his desk and dropped into his chair.

“Maybe I just have high standards,” Callen continued archly as Kensi rolled her eyes.

Tony chuckled to himself as he continued on to the area that had been built into an office for him. It had been painted the same earthy terracotta beige as the rest of the building. It was furnished in dark woods and shades of red and was entirely too respectable, but he was learning to live with that. That didn’t stop him from having the James Bond bobblehead Don had given him on the desk next to his keyboard or the framed classic noir movie posters Jimmy had given him as congratulations for his promotion.

“My report from the last case, Agent DiNozzo,” Nell said after knocking lightly on his open door.

“Excellent,” Tony said, taking the file from her and tossing it into his in tray. There were more important things to do today. “You’re with me today, Jones.”

“I am?”

He looked her over critically for a moment, taking in the smart slacks and pretty blouse.

“Go find some jeans and a hoodie and meet me out front in ten minutes.”

“Yes sir,” she said, turning to go with a bounce in her step, eager at the implication of field work.

Tony hadn’t bothered with a suit today, knowing that he wanted to get in some training before they caught their next case. On the job was all good and well, but you could never be too prepared for being suddenly dropped into life or death situations.

He left his gun and credentials in a lock box in his top drawer, which he also locked, and then headed out to his car. It only took Nell a handful of minutes to join him, but she’d found a dark pair of jeans and a grey hoodie that was just a little too big for her.

“Good job,” he said and climbed in the driver’s side of his car. She hesitated a moment before following him.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Training,” he said with a smile that might be a little too sharp. She watched him for a moment before facing forward again.

“What are we doing today then?” she asked because sometimes he took her to the gym or the range and sometimes he dropped her into something entirely unexpected.

“You’ll see,” he said instead of an answer, although it was indicative of the level of trust she had in him that she didn’t question him when he pulled up in front of a dive bar. It was still too early to have anyone but the people who hadn’t gone home yet or those who were hiding from something. Even so, if this had been McGee, Tony knew he would have been peppered with questions and accused of playing hookie or not taking the job seriously. It was a balm that, while curious, she trusted him to reveal his reasons in time.

“Come on, Probie,” he said, gesturing her in front of him. She pulled her hood up and tucked her hands into pockets. She didn’t hunch; with her height hunching would only make her look vulnerable.

He followed after her, blinking as they moved from the bright daylight to the dark interior of the bar. They few patrons there barely looked up to watch them as Tony went to the bar to get two drinks and then led Nell to a booth in the back.

Nell put her hands around the bottle of beer but didn’t drink. Neither did Tony, not this early in the morning, but it would make them stand out less and buy a modicum of privacy from the bartender.

“What can you tell me about the guy at the end of the bar?” Tony asked. Nell looked up through her lashes, past Tony’s shoulder.

“White male in his fourties,” she started. “Working class.”

That was all fairly easy to determine from just a glance. Tony looked at her expentantly.

“Labourer of some sort,” Nell said confidently, then hesitated. “Construction?”

Tony had seen the tan and the steel-toed boots, so it was a good deduction. It wasn’t the only option, but it was a good start.

“Married but... separated?”

The man kept twisting his wedding ring and looking at the wallpaper of his phone which displayed a smiling blond woman and a boy with the man’s dark hair.

“How would you approach him?” Tony asked, leaning forward. Nell frowned, looking down at the beer in her hands for a long moment before looking up.

“Buy him a drink, commiserate about lost loves,” she said slowly. “He keeps looking at her photograph so he doesn’t seem bitter and hateful. He probably blames himself for what happened, but no one comes to a place like this for company, so it wouldn’t work to push too hard.”

“Good,” he said with a decisive nod. "Half the job of being undercover is reading people."

“How do you do it?” she asked after a silence. “How do you hold an identity for weeks or even months?”

Most of the experience Nell had, most of what she’d been exposed to with the team, was short ops. An hour or two, maybe a few days tops. And that came with its own stresses, but long-term was something else entirely.

“It’s not easy. A lot of people can’t cope with it. It all comes down to one thing in the end; stress and how you manage it,” he said. He twisted the bottle in his hands, considering how to explain it all to her. “A lot of undercovers end up with anxiety and depression, some of them end up in the bottom of a bottle, some of them end up eating their own guns.”

Nell looked grim. Tony knew she hadn’t seen the worst of what happened when a cop burnt out since the OSP team tended to catch each other before they fell that low, but that wasn’t always the case. Tony had gotten close a time or two.

“With all these things, the best way to deal with them is by having a good support system. You need people you can rely on, people who will tie you to something more than the identity you’re living.”

“People who will reach out to you when you can’t reach out to them?” Nell asked softly, her expression a little too knowing, seeing a little too clearly into him.

“Something like that,” Tony said.

“I don’t think I’ll have a problem with that,” Nell said with a small smile. “I think we’ve got a pretty good team.”

“I suppose we do,” he agreed. As long as he was supervising the team, he’d make sure no one was left behind, that they had every support they could possibly need.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I originally called the victims Sandra and Ashley, but then the husband called them "Sandy and Ash" as nicknames and I had to change it. *facepalm*

Tony gestured to Nell to answer his phone when it started to ring as they were pulling out of the parking lot.

"It's from Hetty," Nell said, putting it on speaker.

"What can I do for you, Hetty?"

"Agent DiNozzo, a case just came in, the wife and daughter of a Navy Commander are missing," Hetty said, cutting straight to the chase.

"It's only about twenty minutes from here," Nell told him, connecting to the database and looking over the case file on her tablet. 

"We'll head there now," he told her. Technically he could reassign one of the others, but they had their own active cases and Tony figured it would be good experience for Nell to have a more active role in a kidnapping investigation. Besides, his agreement with Hetty to take the supervisory position was predicated on him being able to go into the field. 

"Of course, Tony," Hetty agreed, amusement underlining her tone. They'd had a few clashes in the beginning, resolving the shifting of authority between them, but they were learning when to push each other and when to concede. There were still times when he found her inscrutable, when he felt but couldn't prove that she was trying to engineer a specific result, but she backed off when he called her on it and she was more than willing to provide any support he might need.

"I'll let you know what we find out," Tony said.

They said their goodbyes and Nell ended the call, putting the phone in the well between them. Tony could feel her gaze on him, could see her looking at him from the corner of his eye. She had questions, he could tell, but he wasn't going to volunteer information she might not be seeking so he waited her out.

"It's different now," she said finally. He glanced at her briefly before turning back to the road.

"How so?" he asked, partly to deflect, partly because he was curious about her answer.

"I didn't realise before... It took a while to see the changes..." She paused and shook her head, getting her thoughts in order. "Sometimes we'd believe so wholeheartedly in Hetty's omniscience that things would fall between the cracks. People would fall between the cracks. Or we'd trust that she would know something without having to be told and we'd make mistakes."

The words tumbled out all in a rush and barely above a whisper as though she was breaking some rule by saying them, but couldn't seem to stop. 

"I admire her greatly, I think she's done amazing things, and I think she's a good leader for the team. She knows how to balance a lot of unique personalities and skill sets," Nell continued as though her dedication was in doubt.

"You can admire and trust someone and still see their faults. That's why there's a chain of command, because no one is infallible." Tony glanced at the red light they were stopped at and then turned to look at Nell to make sure she understood. He considered all the times he'd argued with Gibbs about the direction the man was taking an investigation, but he pushed that thought aside before it became too painful. "It's okay to expect more from people without that being a betrayal."

He fell silent then, because that was something he was still struggling with and he was a lot of things, but he tried not to be a hypocrite.

"I just wanted you to know that I saw the difference you've made," she said, still watching his profile. He gave her a short nod of acknowledgement and then changed the subject.

"Tell me about the case."

"Of course," she said, watching him for a moment longer before turning to her tablet. "Commander James Martin. He works in intelligence on several classified projects. He reported his wife and daughter, Laura and Ashley Martin, missing this morning when the school contacted him to say Ashley was not in attendance. Laura is usually home in time from dropping Ashley to let the gardener in on Tuesdays, but she wasn't there."

"And due to the nature of the Commander's work, the initial speculation is kidnapping?" Tony said.

"That's what the Commander said in his report."

"Hmm," was all he said and Nell frowned at him again. Just because the husband claimed that story and early indications supported it, didn't make it the only viable option. Tony was always inclined to suspect the spouse, only because his experience and statistics bore it out to be true more often than not. It could be murder, murder/suicide, an accident that put both mother and daughter out of commission, human trafficking; there were any number of other possibilities. It was far too early to narrow down the possibilities.

He pulled up outside the house and turned to look at Nell. She watched him with bright, expectant eyes.

“I want you to take point on this,” Tony told her. She opened her mouth to object but he shook his head, stopping her short. “You’ve got this, Probie.”

She held his gaze for a long moment, judging the truth of his words, before straightening up and firming her jaw. She gave him a determined nod and he smiled, patting her shoulder a last time before leaving the car. She scrambled to follow him. 

Nell glanced at him briefly a last time when the Commander opened the door, then she stuck out her hand for him to shake. 

“I’m Technical Analyst Penelope Jones and this is Supervisory Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo,” Nell said with confidence. “We’re with NCIS Office of Special Operations.”

"You're here about Laura and Ash? Of course you are. Come in. Please," the Commander said, gesturing them inside. 

Tony let Nell go first and then followed her in, gaze sweeping over the entrance. There were no muddy boots next to the door, no bags or keys dropped on the first available surface after coming in, no sand or leaves blown in from the garden. Martin closed the door behind them and directed them to the first door on the left, which turned out to be a sitting room.

"Can I get you anything? Something to drink perhaps?" Martin offered. "God, I don't know, Laura usually deals with guests."

"We're fine, Commander Martin," Tony said as they all took their seats. He looked to Nell and raised an eyebrow. She took a brief moment to center herself and then focused on the Commander. 

"What can you tell us about this morning?" Nell asked.

"I left just after 6:00am to get to work. Laura usually gets Ashley up in time for school by 7:00 and is back on Tuesdays to let the gardener in between 8:00 and 9:00," Martin told them. 

"Do you mind if I...?" Tony asked, gesturing around the room. Martin gave him a distracted nod before turning back to Nell. 

“Do you know the route they usually took?”

“Of course. I’ll draw something up for you,” Martin told her.

Tony wandered around the area as they spoke, looking for anything that caught his eye. He glanced over the bookcases though nothing particularly stood out; there was a decent mix of kids books and adults, fiction and non-fiction. He looked over the photos of a happy family, smiling into the camera together. Plenty of a little girl in tutus and some in shorts and tennis shoes, holding a soccer ball. The one thing that stood out to him the most was that there was no dust anywhere. Not even a little bit. Not behind the furniture or on top of the railings where a little bit of accumulation was fairly typical for a busy mom even if she was a stay at home one.

"So you received a call from the school and then the gardener?" Nell asked.

"The gardener first," Martin said. "He called me at 9:00 to ask where Laura was. I thought she was just late getting back from dropping Ash and told him to ask the neighbours to let him in. They've got a key for emergencies. Then the school called half an hour later. I knew something was wrong then."

The answer felt too detailed, too practiced, but Martin was a Navy Commander, trained to remain calm under pressure and used to giving quick, detailed and accurate reports. He caught Nell glancing at him and figured she'd picked up on the same thing, then she focused back on Martin.

"What did you do then?"

"I called Laura and Ashley, I'm not sure how many times. I called the hospitals in the area, just in case. When I couldn't get any answers, I called the police," Martin said, shaking his head. "I just want them home safe. Nothing else matters."

"Do you mind if we look upstairs?" Tony asked. Heading to the door. Nell and Martin followed after him

"Of course, whatever you need," Martin said, gesturing them up the stairs. "The main bedroom is at the end of the hall and Ashley's room is on the right."

Tony wandered around both rooms as Nell checked for updates on her tablet. He even poked his head in the bathroom, but didn't see anything out of place. There was absolutely nothing to suggest anything unusual about the house or the people in it. Nothing except the absolute lack of anything.

"Tony," Nell said softly, tilting the screen of her pad in Tony's direction so he could see more clearly. "I've got a signal on the daughter's phone. It's registered in the mother's name, but the majority of activity is social media and messaging teenage girls."

"Good work, Probie."

He made a quick call back to the office and allocated two agents to watch the house, then headed downstairs. 

"Commander," Tony said, getting the man's attention. "Agents Thomas and Wilson will be here to trace any calls and follow up on any possible ransom."

"You'll be looking for my wife?" the Commander asked, leaning forward as his gaze flickered over Tony's face, judging his dedication. 

"Yes, sir. We have several leads we're following up right now."

"Good, yes," he said, running his hands through his hair. "And you'll let me know the moment you find something?"

"Of course, sir. We'll do everything we can to bring your wife and daughter home," Tony said and the Commander nodded again and shook his hand goodbye before he resumed his pacing. Tony gestured Nell to head out before him.

"Tony," she began but he shook his head and she fell silent. He didn't speak until they were at the car.

"What are your impressions?" Tony asked as they opened their doors and climbed in. Nell frowned but didn't answer. "What is it?"

"I don't know if it's relevant," Nell said, looking up at him for a moment before biting her lip and looking back down.

"Tell me," Tony persisted. "We'll figure out if it's relevant or not later."

"It's just... I mean... He was very helpful, but... I just don't like him," she finished in a rush and shifted uncomfortably. "I know I shouldn't judge him. He's going through a lot right now. But there's just... something I don't like about him."

"What exactly?" Tony asked, because he'd had the same impression. The Commander seemed genuinely worried, but about what, Tony couldn't be sure. The house was pristine, there were photographs of the happy family all over the place, but Tony's childhood home had presented exactly the same facade. His every instinct told him that there was something dark lurking beneath the bright face the family showed.

"I don't know," Nell said after a moment.

"Let me know when it comes to you," Tony told her and she nodded, still not quite looking up. "And Nell," he added, meeting her eyes and giving her a smile. "Good instincts."

Even if they both turned out to be wrong, even if all appearances were true, the investigation only benefited from keeping an open mind about everyone involved. Nell brightened up immediately, shoulders straightening as she nodded again more firmly.

“Now,” he said, starting the car. “What was that address?”


	3. Chapter 3

Don looked over the scene, taking in the police tape across a broken window and the general rundown appearance of the building, of all the buildings around it. It wasn’t the best neighbourhood, but it wasn’t the worst either. The street was quiet, with occasional face appearing in a window to watch them.

“Why are we here?” Betancourt asked, frustration and anger layering her voice. Even her posture was coiled and tensed. 

“Betancourt,” Don said, a note of warning in his voice, not because he disagreed with her, but because it wouldn’t change anything and he didn’t want to make things anymore difficult with the PD than it already would be. A case of aggravated assault and home invasion should have been a local police matter, but because it was a women’s shelter and local politicians wanted to be seen to be doing something in the current climate, Don’s team had been tasked with the case.

“Don’t get me wrong, these women deserve justice, but the LAPD is more than capable of handling it,” Betancourt continued. 

“Politics,” Liz said and Don was glad he didn’t have to.

“Don?” a voice asked and he turned, surprised, to see Megan standing in the doorway. 

“Megan, it’s good to see you,” he said as she stepped forward. He held out his hand to shake but she pulled him into a hug.

“Liz, Colby, Nikki,” she said, turning to hug them each in turn. 

She looked good, Don thought, better than he’d last seen her, when her experiences had weighed on her and she’d been close to burning out. Now she seemed far more settled in herself. 

“Is this where you’ve been keeping herself?” he asked. 

“I’ve been volunteering here for the last six months. There are a lot of women who just need a bit of help,” she said. 

“That’s good,” Don said and he meant it. Megan was one of the best agents he’d ever worked with, but not everyone could manage the emotional toll the job took, and Megan had always connected more closely and felt more keenly all their cases. 

“But you’re here about the attack last night,” Megan said, going straight to business. “You’ll want the full rundown from Naomi, she runs this place, but she’s at the hospital with Alice at the moment.”

“What can you tell us?” Don asked even as he made a note to follow up with Naomi.

“There were four assailants, caucasian men. I’m not sure about height or age, they were wearing ski masks and I wasn't there for it all.” Megan shook her head and gave a frustrated sigh. “Two of the women were injured and Alice is in intensive care. The whole thing lasted maybe fifteen minutes. They came after the women first, looking for someone specific, but we’ve had so many temporary occupants that it doesn’t really narrow it down. Most of them don’t give their real names.”

“Any idea what they were after?” 

Megan shrugged and shook her head. 

“They headed to the office after they’d checked everyone and then left when the police arrived. The PD left two officers in case they come back, but I doubt they will be. Whatever they were after isn’t here.”

“Ms Reeves,” a small voice said and they turned to see a young boy in clothes slightly too big for him standing in the corridor. “Mommy’s crying again.”

“I’ll be right there, sweetheart,” Megan said before turning back to Don and the team. “If you need anything, I’ll be with the other women. They all have traumatic pasts and this hasn’t helped them with their recovery.”

“We’ll come get you when we need witness statements,” Don told her and she nodded and headed off with the boy. A moment later they were approached by one of the officers that had remained behind in case the assailants returned. 

“There’re are two Navy cops wanting to talk to the guy in charge,” he said. Don raised an eyebrow but wondered which of Tony’s team was there. 

“NCIS,” he corrected absently.

Don turned to see Tony himself approaching with Jones at his side. Tony was speaking quickly but quietly into his phone, his identification hanging around his neck and, while his jacket was clearly tailored, this gun in his shoulder holster was obvious. Tony swiftly ended his call and slid his phone into his pocket. 

“Agent Eppes,” Tony greeted, eyes gleaming with humour at the situation. “You know Analyst Jones already.”

So, Tony was outing himself to Don’s team. He wasn’t entirely sure why or why now, but he was sure Tony would explain when he had the opportunity.

"Agent DiNozzo," Don said, reaching out to shake Tony's hand and keeping his posture loose and his expression professional. The more he could ease his team into the change, the better. 

"Huh," Colby said as though several things had suddenly fallen into place, but he didn't seem surprised. 

"Tony, good to see you again," Liz greeted with a smile and she laughed when Tony flashed her his most blindingly charming smile. That left Betancourt. Don liked her, she had a core of strength and willingness to learn, but she could also be a little temperamental.

“Am I the last one to know?” she asked.

“Come on Betancourt,” Colby said, slinging an arm around her shoulders, “we still have a scene to investigate.”

“Don’t patronise me, Granger,” she said, but she followed him anyway, likely to pepper him with questions he was more likely to answer than anyone else. If anyone could understand Tony’s position, it was Colby, and Don had no doubt he would at least get Betancourt considering the situation. 

“Agent Eppes, a word,” Tony said, indicating an empty room just a few feet away. 

“Certainly.”

“I’ll start getting witness information from Megan,” Liz said and Don decided to pretend he hadn’t seen her smirk as she left them alone. “Jones, we could use some background checks.”

Jones looked to Tony who gave her a nod and she gave them both a scrutinising look before she hurried after the older woman. Don headed into the office and held the door for Tony before shutting it softly behind them. 

Tony stood in front of a set of shelves which had boxes of clothes, toiletries, and other necessities, no doubt used by the shelter residents. Don grew concerned when the other man didn’t react to the door closing or to Don moving further into the room. 

"Hey," Don said, lightly touching his shoulder. Tony tensed at the contact and Don began to draw away, but Tony caught his hand, threading their fingers together. 

"Sorry. I spent a summer in a place a lot like this once." Tony's voice was soft, distant, and he didn't look up from staring at their joined hands. 

"Yeah?" Don said, half acknowledgment, half prompt for more. He'd seen Tony's scars, knew his life hadn't exactly been easy, but he hadn't pushed when the other man had backed away from revealing anything too personal. They both had a ton of baggage and trying to find a way to make it all fit together was definitely a work in progress.

"Hetty's okayed letting your team know. Donati has mostly done what he needs to and she wants us to work together," Tony said and he released Don's hand, took a step back and crossed his arms. Don searched his expression, taking note of the slightly pinched caste to his features and the stubborn set of his jaw. Tony had opened up, maybe not a lot, but he'd let Don know what was going on with him without deflecting or denying the truth. And let him know when he needed some space.

"That'll make things easier."

"Charlie will be glad, I'm sure."

"He told me you've been consulting for him," Don said, smiling at Tony's disgruntled look. "Although he's very careful about your identity."

Tony's expression softened at that, his fondness for Charlie shining through, and some of his tension eased. Don considered that, considered that the secret of their relationship meant that Tony couldn't be honest with Charlie either. Tony had never complained, had never even mentioned it, and Don wondered if that was because he considered it a necessity or because he thought Don was ashamed of them on some level. No one in Don's life really knew about them, except for Liz, and he'd had no control over that. 

"Your brother can be very persuasive," Tony said with a roll of his eyes, but he was still smiling. 

"Maybe I should tell him," Don said, trying to gauge Tony's reaction. "About us."

Tony stilled, he eyes searching Don's. Slowly he unfolded his arms and stepped in close.

"Don."

"I've been thinking about it."

"Don't do it because you think it's what I want," Tony said and Don wished, not for the first time, that he could read him better, that he knew what he was thinking.

"I want to not have to think of an excuse for why I can't join them spur of the moment when you're with me. I want to see you and Amita rolling your eyes when Charlie and I start arguing. I want him to show up randomly at my place with one of his consults for you because he knows that's where he can find you," Don told him, pressing forward and taking Tony's face in his hands, and pushing away all of the doubts and worries that whispered in his mind. Charlie could keep a secret. He kept plenty of secrets for work, for the agencies he consulted with. But he'd never had to keep a secret about Don from their Dad. 

"Okay," Tony said, voice a little shaky, and Don figured he'd said the right thing. Now he just had to do it. Tony stepped back again, expression closing off though the warmth in his eyes remained.

"My team is following up on a missing persons case, the wife and daughter of a Navy Commander. We traced the daughter's cell phone here."

Don nodded, pulling back as well. They would have time to discuss everything else later, but the case always came first.

"The shelter was attacked last night. Four assailants, three casualties, one in intensive care, but the assailants didn't seem to find what they were looking for and they fled the scene. Witnesses say they were after people first and then went looking for a main office," Don told him. "But they're already traumatised and their accounts are a little scattered. Megan says she'll work with them to try to get a more coherent account."

"She was on your team, right?"

"There's no one else I would trust more with traumatised witnesses. She's a profiler and I've seen her reach people I didn't think could ever be reached. And these women already trust her. If we want to get anything from them, she's our best bet."

"If you say she's good then I'll take your word for it."

Don nodded, glad it wasn't going to be a fight, even if it was unorthodox to have someone who was not a federal agent anymore dealing with the witnesses. He'd pull her in as a consultant if he had to.

"We still haven't reached the woman in charge," Don said.

"I'll have Kensi and Deeks bring her in."

"Good." 

Don's team would be stretched thin as it was, so he was more than willing to share the load. And maybe he could let the lines between his relationship with Tony and the rest of his life blur a little.

"I look forward to working with you again, Agent Eppes," Tony said with a hint of a smile, his eyes crinkling around the edges.

"You too, Agent DiNozzo."


	4. Chapter 4

Nell followed Warner further into the building where it changed from more clinical store rooms and public spaces to more personal spaces with pictures on the walls and names on the doors, even if they were temporary residences.

One of the doors further down the corridor opened and Megan stepped out, closing it softly behind her. She looked up as they approached and gestured them across the hallway where she opened another door.

"It really is good to see you," Reeves told Warner as she went to sit in one of the arm chairs. There was a small desk in the corner and a coffee table covered in crayons and paper. Nell guessed this was where Reeves met with the women and children at the shelter.

"I've missed you too," Warner said as she joined Reeves. Nell felt like she was intruding as she joined them, settling into one of the threadbare chairs and taking out her tablet. "It hasn't been the same without you."

"Don still Don?"

"Always," Warner said with a wry smile that didn't disguise her affection for him. Not for the first time, Nell wondered at the relationships in Eppes’ team. "So what are we looking at here?"

“If you want to look into these women for motives from people associated with them, then you’re going to have to do it very carefully. They’re scared and angry for good reason,” Reeves said. 

Nell knew the system wasn’t perfect, that there were people it failed, but she liked to think that at least if she was on the right side of it she would do everything she could to prevent that happening.

“Have you had any other trouble?” Warner asked and Reeves shook her head.

“The occasional ex who’s a little too persistent. Nothing on this scale. Nothing quite so organised,” Reeves said. 

“What about this woman?” Nell asked, showing a picture of Laura Martin to Reeves. “Is she here?”

“She and her daughter, yes. They were here a day or two ago, I think. I hadn’t talked to them yet.”

“A day or two? Are you sure?”Nell asked, leaning forward. Reeves frowned and she and Warner glanced at each other. 

“Does that mean something?” Warner asked.

“Her husband only reported her missing today. He said they disappeared between 6:00 and 9:00 this morning,” Nell told them. “He was too composed, his reactions all seemed a second too late, like he had to remember to show them. Sam has SEAL training and he was a wreck when Michelle was taken.”

She couldn’t wait to tell Tony, sure that he’d already made the connection, but that he’d let her come to her own conclusions. It was why she liked him as a mentor. He didn't give her all the answers, but he also didn't let her go too far off course if he saw she was headed in the wrong direction.

“He’d have no way of tracking them if they weren’t using their real names,” Reeves said. “Very few of the women here do.”

“We tracked the daughter’s cell phone here. She must have made some sort of contact with someone that led him here,” Nell told them. 

“Hang on,” Reeves said and she headed to her desk, unlocking the top drawer and drawing out a shimmering blue cell phone. “We had a few women move on this week and this was left behind by one of them. It might be the one you’re looking for.”

“Thank you. I’ll see what I can get from this.”

“We’ll see what we can get from the witnesses,” Warner said.

...

Kensi gestured for the woman to proceed her into the boat shed. Naomi Johnson was a force of nature, that was for sure. They’d met her at the hospital and she’d immediately taken charge by assuring herself that Alice was stable and someone would stay to guard her, then she’d insisted on calling her lawyer and co-operated with them fully so she could get back to her guests, as she called the women staying at the shelter.

Her lawyer followed her at an unhurried pace as he took in his surroundings. Kensi had the feeling that getting anything out of either of them that they didn't want to reveal was not going to be easy.

“We’re just waiting for representatives from the FBI,” Kensi told them. “It’s a joint investigation.”

“That’s alright, honey,” she said, patting Kensi’s arm. “You just let me know where you need me.”

“Right here is fine,” Kensi said, showing her the couches that made up the area outside the interrogation rooms. “Can I get you anything?”

“Some water would be lovely.”

“Of course,” Kensi said, turning to find Deeks was already getting it for her. She’d been nothing but polite and pleasant, but there was something formiddable about her, something that made the both of them want to hop to anything she requested.

“Thank you dear,” she said when he came back with a bottle of water.

“Are you ready to answer a few questions?” Kensi asked.

“Ms Johnson,” the lawyer murmured, leaning in for privacy.

“That won’t be necessary Harold,” she said before turning back to Kensi and Deeks. “He worries you see, because disgruntled partners have used the police to try to intimidate me and my guests before. But I’m sure that’s not what’s going on here.”

“Of course not, ma’am. We only want to get to the bottom of who attacked the shelter and why,” Kensi said.

“Good,” Naomi said. “I didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings.”

Kensi had no problem seeing this woman running a shelter and standing up to irate exes and, as she called them, disgruntled partners. There didn’t seem to be much that could intimidate her. She was about to continue when the door to the boat shed opened again and Tony entered followed by Agent Eppes. Tony stopped short a few steps in and Naomi rose to meet him.

“Naomi,” Tony said, clearly surprised to see her.

“AJ.”

She wrapped him in a tight hug, holding on until he brought his arms up to hug her back. Kensi wondered at how they knew each other, but she probably shouldn’t be surprised when Tony’s network always seemed to have another contact with some information he needed.

“Oh, honey, look at you,” she said, pulling back to grip his arms and take a good look at him. “I wondered about you over the years, how you’d turned out, and look at what you’ve done with your life. I’m so proud of you.”

“I had a lot of help along the way.”

“Everyone does AJ, that’s how they get anywhere,” she said, patting his arm.

Kensi could see the moment Tony remembered the rest of them were there and he pulled back, expression blanking. Eppes stood to one side, arms folded across his chest and eyes fixed on Tony like he wanted to reach out but couldn’t let himself. She didn’t envy them their relationship. Her relationship with Deeks was complicated enough without added the extra obstacles Tony and Don faced.

Naomi looked around the room and she smiled mildly, patting Tony on the arm again before pulling away.

“AJ helped us out at the shelter for a summer when he was in college,” she told them. “That was back when I was in Ohio, of course. Funny where life takes you. I moved out here to be with my daughter when she was sick, cancer you know, but she’s in remission five years now.”

Kensi watched as Tony relaxed steadily the longer Naomi spoke, deftly moving the focus off him. She wanted to push, to find out what was going on with him, it was the curse of being an investigator, but she curtailed the impulse. If there was one thing she’d learned about Tony it was that he only liked to be the center of attention when he was in control of the process.

“Naomi,” Tony said, sitting opposite her. “We’re not just looking into the attack last night, but a woman and her daughter have gone missing. The daughter’s phone was at your shelter, but neither of them was among your guests.”

“What’s your question, honey?” Naomi asked gently, like she was counselling him, not being questioned herself. Tony took his phone out and showed her the photographs of the mother and daughter.

“You know I would never let anyone hurt your guests. If they’re connected to all this then they’re still in danger. Can you give us anything that would help us find them?”

Naomi was silent for a long moment.

“They’re on the next step of the railway,” she said finally. “I dropped them off with Cassandra yesterday. She was going to get them new identities and settle them somewhere I didn’t know.”

Kensi knew that it was so the final location couldn’t be forced out of her if one of the partners decided to go after her. She wondered if she could live like that, with that knowledge hanging over her head, all the time.

"We should head out," Tony said. "Deeks, you mind if I borrow Kensi? Nell's looking through the phone and compiling background checks."

"I've got some paperwork to finish anyway,” Deeks said and Kensi winced, knowing he still had a few hoops to jump through about fully returning to the field after his absence.

"AJ," Naomi said, touching his arm to get his attention.

"Naomi?"

“You find the people that did this, you hear me,” Naomi told Tony. “And if you need anything, for this case or otherwise, you let me know.”

“I will.”

She stared at him for a long moment, judging his sincerity.

“I mean it.”

“Yes ma’am,” Tony said and Kensi smiled to herself to see Tony reacting to someone he’d known when he was young, before he'd built all his walls, or as many walls as he had now.

"You're a good boy," Naomi told him.

"I haven't been either of those things for a very long time."

"No cheek from you now," she said, drawing him into another hug which he returned more quickly than the first. Then he stepped away, ducking his head, and turned to Kensi.

"We should head out."

"Right behind you."

...

Don hesitated at the door as students brushed past him. He breathed once, twice, and then knocked.

“Come in,” Charlie called from within and Don pushed the door open, closing it behind him. Tony was following up leads from his missing persons case and Don was waiting for the background check and witness information to come through. He figured it was as good a time as any to talk to Charlie. And he knew himself well enough that if he didn’t do it soon then he would give himself excuses not to do it at all.

“Hey Charlie.”

“Hey Don,” Charlie said without turning around. “Do you need me for a case? I just want to finish up here.”

"No. I, uh, I need to tell you something," Don said, picking up a paperweight from Charlie's desk and turning it over in his hands. Charlie put down his chalk and turned to give Don his full attention.

"Okay."

The weight of Charlie's gaze was heavy, almost physical, and Don shifted from foot to foot, tossing the glass paperweight in the air a few times.

"Don?"

"I'm seeing someone," he said, without looking up.

"That's great. It's been a while since Robin and everything and I was starting to get worried."

Don did look up at that, frowning. Charlie had never said anything, not that Don would have been open to discussing anything to do with Robin and how their relationship had ended. He didn't even want to talk about it now. No doubt Charlie's reticence was Amita's influence. He shook his head; it didn't really matter.

"When do I get to meet her?" Charlie asked and Don's frown deepened, not sure how to actually go about coming out to his brother. Charlie's smile fell a little when Don didn't answer immediately. "You do want her to meet us, right?"

"It's someone you already know."

Charlie's eyes grew distant in that way that meant he was doing math in his head. Given the women they knew in common, Don could only guess at the conclusions Charlie was coming to.

"It's Tony," he said to preempt questions about rekindling a relationship with Liz, again, or heaven forbid starting one with Betancourt.

"NCIS Supervisory Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo?" Charlie asked because of course he'd need to clarify a premise before moving on with a thesis.

"Yes."

"Oh," Charlie said and he was quiet for a long moment. "I don't understand how I didn't know this about you."

"Not everything is about you Charlie," Don said before snapping his jaw shut and wincing. He wiped a hand down his face and turned away, knowing that Charlie would be staring at him with wide, hurt eyes. "Sorry," he added, still not entirely unclenching his jaw because he didn't want to hurt Charlie, but he didn't want to have to justify himself either.

Charlie pressed a hand to his shoulder, urging him to turn around without pushing him to.

"No, hey, I get it," Charlie said, surprising him with quiet sympathy. But then he kept forgetting that they'd both grown a lot over the last few years. "Well, not really. I'm trying. But it's okay."

Charlie's world was facts and figures, things he could put to paper and determine with almost absolute certainty. People and relationships weren't like that. Don knew he struggled with those, if his book on friendship and his sometimes tumultuous relationship with Don didn't make that obvious. It always took Charlie longer to deal with the things he couldn't quantify.

"How long have you... Since when..." Charlie started, trying to formulate his thoughts.

"I'm not getting into that, Charlie," Don said, stepping back and folding his arms.

"Okay," Charlie said, but he was frowning like Don was one of his equations that wouldn't co-operate until Charlie could account for all the variables. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because it wasn't necessary."

"But," Charlie said, staring at him with wide eyes before he trailed off. Don could tell he still wanted to argue in the way the muscle in his jaw ticked like he was literally holding back his words. Then his eyes narrowed. "So it's serious then? Because it's necessary now?"

"I'm really not getting into that."

Charlie smiled widely, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet like he did when he was excited. Don pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Don't be like that. Tony's a great catch," Charlie said. Don almost wished he'd never said anything. He was never going to hear the end of it now. "Dad is going to love him."

That stopped Don short and he tensed visibly enough that Charlie frowned in concern, taking a step toward him.

"You cannot tell Dad. I mean it Charlie."

"Don? What?"

"Tony still has his cover to maintain," Don said, grabbing at the first, easiest excuse, even if it was true. Charlie nodded slowly.

"I won't," he said still frowning, all previous amusement gone. "I promise."

Don nodded, not entirely able to hide his relief. He loved and admired his Dad, and knew that he believed in the right for everyone to live and love however they wanted. But everyone wasn't his son. They weren't in law enforcement. They hadn't spent years trying to re-establish a relationship despite their fundamental differences.

“But...” Charlie started and Don prepared himself for a slew of questions he knew his brother couldn’t help.

“What?”

“Can you talk to him about the think tank?”

Don laughed out loud before he could help himself.

“Oh no way,” he said, heading for the door. “You do your own dirty work. I’m not getting in the middle of that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head, Naomi is played by Loretta Devine.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My job is food industry adjacent, so even though my country is in shutdown, I'm working extra hours. On top of that, I signed up for a law course before everything happened and I'm trying to deal with that too. So don't expect too much in the way of updates.
> 
> And the role of Cassandra is played by Helen Mirren in my headcanon casting.

"You okay?" Kensi asked as they pulled up outside a nondescript house that was out of the way enough that the last two roads they'd been down were dirt. It was only a couple hours away from Los Angeles, but it might have afforded Laura and Ashley some protection from those seeking them.

"Fine," Tony said, not looking at her as he checked his badge and gun before unhooking the seatbelt.

"Tony."

He sighed and rubbed at his forehead. Kensi simply turned to watch him, undeterred.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"You don't have to talk,” she said, her voice soft and her eyes keen. “I just want you to know that I know some cases hit closer to home than others and if you need to take a step back or a moment to breathe or whatever, just say the word."

He turned away from her scrutiny and breathed out slowly, sure now that she'd put more than a few clues together and come up with something at least truth adjacent. 

"I know."

"Good,” she said, finally unhooking her seatbelt. “That's all I wanted to say."

Tony nodded, stepping out of the car and away from the conversation. He paused, looking over the roof of the car as Kensi shut the car door behind her. 

"Thanks Kensi," he said softly and she shrugged before smiling at him. 

"Also, you totally owe me a movie night," she added as they turned to head to Cassandra Corwin's front door. 

Tony bumped her shoulder lightly, appreciating all over again that he had her, and the rest of the team, in his life. Then he blanked his expression and climbed Corwin's porch steps to knock sharply on the door. It took only a moment before it opened and a tall, thin woman in her 60s stood there, scrutinising them. She was still beautiful, but her eyes were hard and Tony figured her spine was probably made of steel from how tensely she held herself.

"Naomi said you'd be coming," she told them without preamble, glare not relaxing even a little. "They aren't here."

She barred the doorway, not letting them in. Tony didn't blame her, not when she was protecting people who hadn't been protected enough.

"Okay," Tony agreed, keeping his shoulders hunched and his hands loose at his sides so he wasn't as intimidating. "But they were here at some point?"

Corwin grunted something that might have been agreement.

"Naomi must have told you we're only looking for them to help them, not hurt them," Tony told her.

"That's why I didn't greet you with a shotgun."

"Alright then," Tony said, deciding he liked her. "Do you know where they are now?"

Corwin smirked a little and titled her chin up defiantly.

"They saw the news about the attack on the shelter this morning and fled. I don't know where they went."

"And I suppose you wouldn't tell me even if you did know?" Tony asked. Corwin's smirk widened but her only response was to raise an eyebrow. "Thank you for your time Ms Corwin."

She snorted and stepped back into the house, shutting the door firmly behind her. Tony and Kensi were left staring at each other. They'd have to go back to the evidence they already had and hope Nell and Reeves had come up with something they could use.

"I don't think she likes us very much," Kensi said as they turned and headed back to the car. 

"I don't know," Tony said, glancing back in the direction of the house. "I think it could have gone worse."

"You think she was telling the truth?" Kensi looked at him over the top of the car as they separated to climb in. "It was a long way to come for so little information."

"The only reason she has to lie is to protect them and hiding them now doesn't protect them," Tony said as he opened the car door. "Giving them a headstart does."

"Looks like they're on the run then," Kensi said.

"On the positive side, if we can't find them, then it's unlikely the commander can either."

Kensi opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again once they were back in the car. Tony flexed his fingers around the steering wheel and waited her out until she looked up at him again.

"You really don't need to worry," he told her before she could ask him again. "I'm just fine."

"Maybe I don't need to, but that isn't going to stop me," Kensi said with an unrepentant grin.

"You're the worst." 

She laughed then, and he relaxed his grip, relieved that he'd allayed her worries. The last thing he wanted was the team treating him with kid gloves. They all had cases that got close to their vulnerabilities, but the only way Tony had of coping was following through on the case, filling his mind with the puzzle until there wasn't room for anything else.

"That's what friends are for," he said.

"Yeah, well you've earned yourself listening to me sing along to Sinatra for the three hours it takes to get back."

"Oh, you're evil."

"That's why I'm the boss," Tony said, but he was smiling and Kensi leaned back, clearly satisfied with herself. He turned on the music and upped the volume just to see her wince.

...

Don was just getting ready to leave for the office when a knock on the door stopped him. Before he even opened it, Don knew who it was. Tony hadn't spent the night last night. He usually didn't when he worked late or when a case particularly got to him, but it wasn't often that they didn't see each other at some point during the day.

"Hey," Tony said, smiling when Don gave him a quick kiss as he took the coffee and croissants from him and put it on the counter

"Hey."

Tony shrugged out of his jacket and draped it neatly over the back of the couch, dropping his bag next to it. Don had never been too concerned with what he wore as long as it was comfortable and conformed to the professional levels expected of him, but he could never deny that Tony looked good in a suit.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

Tony's voice was distant, his gaze not entirely focused on the here and now.

"Okay," Don said, not sure if he should push or not, if it was better for Tony to make him talk or back away.

"Sorry," Tony said, stepping in close and pressing his forehead to Dons shoulder. "I'm fine. Really. It's just bringing up a lot of memories."

"I get that."

Don cradled Tony's head and just breathed with him, letting him say whatever he needed to say.

"Naomi didn't have to take me in, but she did. I was pretty messed up and once I was on my feet again I just tried to put it all behind me," Tony said, fingers curling into Don's shirt. "I just need some time to get my head on straight about it again."

"It's okay," Don told him. "I'll be here."

"I know."

Tony released him and Don let him put some space between them again.

"How's the witness information coming along?" Tony asked.

"Nothing stands out so far. Certainly no one with the resources it would take to hire four professionals," Don said, letting things move to less fraught territory. "Megan's looking over it as well, dusting off her profiling experience."

"Kensi and I are heading out to see Laura Martin's sister today. It's a few hours drive, but Ashley's phone made contact with her again for the first time in years only a few weeks ago. They've been in fairly consistent contact since then," Tony said.

"You think this was planned?"

"It's possible."

"We looked over the husband's financials, but there's nothing unusual there," Don told him, aware that Tony was favouring him for the suspect.

"Nothing to do but keep chasing down leads," Tony said with a shrug. Don watched him for a long moment until Tony raised an eyebrow.

"I told Charlie about us."

"You did?" Tony asked, tone deliberately casual and somehow flat in that way that usually meant he was carefully controlling his reaction. "How did he react?"

Don hadn't realised how worried Tony was about Charlie's approval until he saw the stiff way he held himself. He'd felt lighter since telling Charlie, unaware of the weight he'd been carrying as well. He caught Tony's tie in his fingers and pulled him closer.

"I'm pretty sure he thinks you're way out of my league."

"Well, he is a genius," Tony said, smiling slyly, as the tension in his shoulders eased.

"You are so full of it," Don said, grinning as he edged Tony back against the counter.

"Is that any way to talk to the person that brought you breakfast?"

Warm hands settled at Don's back, drawing him in closer, and he smiled against Tony's mouth.

"I'll make it up to you when the case is over," he promised.

"I like the sound of that."

A second knock on the door had them separating. Tony ran his fingers through his hair, putting it back into its usually neat styling. By the time Don opened the door, Tony was leaning casually against the counter, sipping at one of the coffees he'd brought.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" Don asked, more accusation in his tone than he intended.

"If this is a bad time?" Alan said, gaze drifting past Don, stopping when it rested on Tony.

"No, it's fine."

Don stepped aside, consciously making himself release the white-knuckle hold he had on the door. Tony's pose remained casual, but his eyes tracked Don's every movement, the smallest frown of concern creasing between his eyebrows. Alan cleared his throat. There was no way he didn't sense the tension, even if he didn't know the source of it. Tony looked at Don, head tilted in question, waiting for a cue.

"We can finish our discussion at the office." Don told him, as much as he might want Tony as backup right now. Tony nodded, grabbing his jacket and his bag, and headed for the door with a murmured greeting to Alan. He hesitated, just a second, before leaving. The soft click of the door shutting sounded too loud in the silence it left behind.

"Wasn't that the man that was at the hospital?" Alan asked, tone light even as he frowned.

"He's someone I work with," Don said, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. Alan just raised an eyebrow at that. "He dropped by to discuss a case."

"I might not be an investigative agent, but I know my own kids," Alan told him. "You don't have cosy breakfasts with your work colleagues. Your shirt's untucked and his tie was skew, and you won't look me in the eyes."

Don looked up then, stubbornly, his jaw gritted tight against the defensive words that wanted to tumble out. Alan smiled a little, his eyes sad, and stepped forward, stopping when Don backed up.

"You reacted exactly the same when I walked in on you and Rebecca when you were in the ninth grade," Alan continued. "You thought you'd be in trouble for having a girl in your room and your reaction wasn't anger or denial, you just shut down."

"I'm not fifteen anymore."

"No, you're not."

Don couldn't decide whether that tone meant his father was disappointed or frustrated or angry. he wasn't sure which he would prefer.

"I need to get to work," he said and flushed when Alan sighed and closed his eyes briefly as he was proved right. A sense of weariness settled over Don and he hunched his shoulders.

"Donnie," Alan said, voice soft and mouth down-turned like it always was when he was disappointed. Don looked away, hands balling into fists. "I don't understand why you felt you had to hide it."

Don wasn't ready for this conversation. Not even a little bit. Charlie was his little brother and they'd spent years either fighting or not talking, and Don was glad that they'd reconciled and found a way to understand each other, but he'd never really worried about disappointing Charlie. His Dad was another thing all together.

"Dad."

"You have to know I love you no matter what."

"I know, Dad."

"I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't come to me."

"Dad," Don said with a sigh, scrubbing a hand down his face. "It's not that..." He didn't know how to go on, what to say, that would just finish the conversation.

"I'd never turn you away. You know that, right?"

Alan's face fell and his eyes shimmered when Don didn't answer immediately.

"With work I knew I wouldn't be able to..." Don trailed off, immediately knowing it was the wrong tack to take.

"I'm not the FBI," Alan said and Don fell silent again, not wanting to rehash this argument again. He'd spent years living with his father's disapproval. Even if actual arguments had been few and far between, the knowledge had always lived at the back of Don's mind.

"I know that, Dad. I know this isn't what you wanted for me," Don said finally, feeling like an absolute bastard for almost making his dad cry.

"Of course I wanted you to settle down with a nice girl, have a few kids, but that's the dream I had. What I really want, what I've always wanted, is for you to be happy," Alan said.

Don pressed the heel of his hands to his eyes, feeling overwhelmed and trapped. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't end in a fight. He didn't want to throw his dad's unhappiness with him joining the FBI back in his face, not when they'd finally moved past it. But it was also the reason he hadn't said anything. Everything always seemed to come back to the FBI.

"Why don't you invite him over for dinner tonight?" Alan asked when Don didn't say anything. "That's why I came over anyway. Charlie said you had a case and I just wanted to make sure you were still coming."

"I don't think..."

"Please Donnie," Alan said. "I just want to meet him."

Charlie would no doubt be delighted and Don knew his father would try, like he had with everyone Don brought home. Tony would be charming, like he always was. It was only Don who wasn't ready, but he'd promised to try, even if only to himself. And Tony didn't deserve to be a dirty secret.

"I'll ask him."

"Thank you."

Alan pulled him into a hug, stroking his hair. Don held himself stiffly for long moments before he shuddered and sighed, finally bringing his arms up.

"I love you, Donnie," Alan said, holding him tighter briefly before letting him go.

"I love you too, Dad," Don said, even as his stomach churned and panic squeezed his chest at the thought of dinner.


End file.
